If your life is a telenovela, you might cry more than Teresa and you’re not alone. According to “Women Cry More than Men” and the German Society of Ophthalmology, on average women cry between 30 to 64 times a year while men only cry about six to 17 times a year. Not only that, men tend to cry for about two to four minutes but, for females, a crying session last around six minutes. And weeping turns into full-blown sobbing for women in 65 percent of cases, compared to just six percent for males.
Now, this is not something to be ashamed about. In fact, there could even be a biological explanation as to why this is so. In “Study: Women’s Brains Are More Sensitive To Negative Emotions; React Differently Than Men’s,” researchers explain that, when dealing with negative emotions, women tend to focus more on the feelings generated by stimuli while men remain passive toward their negative emotions and instead try to analyze the situation that causes them to feel that way and its impact.
Whether it is due to hormones and how our brain is wired or not, the simple fact is that women do cry more than men, and sometimes this can get in the way of us effectively communicating how we are feeling with those around us. Especially if those around us are the ones who have caused us to feel that way.
“Crying sometimes has negative effects on how I function in the moment; fortunately, most of the time I’m overcome with emotion I’m in church, so I don’t feel so uncomfortable.” – Kelly Johnson
A few ways to communicate with others when overactive tear ducts are getting in the way of you expressing yourself verbally include:
1. Taking a breather, calmate:
Not everything has to be handled in the moment. If you are so overcome with emotion that you cannot verbalize your thoughts, it might be because you haven’t had the time to process them either. Analyze the situation, and ask yourself why you reacted to in that way.
Chrystal Harvey says, “Sometimes I clench my jaw, look down and focus on something else. I don’t try and distract myself from the situation, but I do try and focus on something other than my emotions. I tell myself, ‘don’t cry…hold it… stop.”
2. Writing it down:
If you’re convinced you know what you’re thinking and what you want to say, but just can’t get it out, consider writing it down. In a school or work environment crying might lead others to view you as unprofessional or to not take you seriously. I have found that writing emails gives me the opportunity to look over what I plan to say and make changes to it until I am satisfied with the message I am trying to relay. Often times, what I have written communicates more effectively and eloquently my arguments.
3. Llora mija, llora:
Whether it’s silent tears or an ugly cry complete with snot and sobbing, crying is natural. Feeling pain, anger, frustration, sadness, joy, excitement, it’s all part of the human experience, and crying if how you deal with it then so be it. Crying is a form of communicating as well.
In the end, what matters most is you, chica. You’re the protagonista, so express yourself!
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